How to make your souless hotel bar more souless

You run a hotel which has a bar off the lobby. You know that hotel bars are usually rather souless, so you wonder how you can make it more attractive to your guests. You’d prefer them to spend time in there buying drinks, or even suggesting to their local colleagues or travelling colleagues to meet there rather than spend their money elsewhere.
After careful consideration, it’s clear there is only one way to liven up the experience and attract more custom.
That’s right – put a big LCD TV in the corner. That way you can kill whatever conversation might have occurred, now that you have a large TV with the sound turned off. Your guests will now flock to your bar and spend a fortune whilst sitting there in distracted silence watching part of a dismal Adam Sandler movie out of the corner of one eye. The sound maybe turned off, but there are at least subtitles in Romanian for your foreign non-Romanian speaking guests, who seem to make up 90% of your potential clientele. Anyone trying to read a book or newspaper now won’t need to bother – Adam Sandler with Romanian subtitles is exactly what they now know they wanted.
When will the tyranny of pointless flatscreen TVs end? I suggest putting TVs up in every pub and bar, in the theatre, at concerts and in churches, so people can exercise their right to watch snippets of TV, filled with adverts, in a foreign language – with the sound turned off.


2 Responses to “How to make your souless hotel bar more souless”

  1. Riz Says:

    woo hoo … just happy to find out that I am not alone in not ‘getting’ Adam Sandler movies.

  2. 'roony Says:

    …..err, who is Adam Sandler?

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